glory, gone

i sniffed at the smell of glory today
it found me by surprise.
once I acknowledged it
it faded into the sky
forever away
from where i was.
i find that nothing has changed
i’m still sitting in my garage
at midnight, smoking cigars
and sipping whiskey
trying to figure out something
to write. the agony still lurks
just like desire
just like the owl
in the backyard oak
just like the chaos
i seem to adore
just like the moonlight
over the graveyard
just like tomorrow’s hangover
that’ll surely greet me
i accept it all

the morning mirror

the sun pierced threw my blinds
as I awoke naked on my bed
confused and weary
with a feeling of destruction
in my head

I lived it up last night,
I’m guessing
like I do sometimes when
I feel like I’m not living right

I lifted my head and looked around
birds singing
garbage truck
ears ringing
silence

I saw my Nabokov novel
laid open on the nightstand
dirty shoes and drunken pants
in the corner.

I rose up and went to the bathroom,
after a long dehydrated piss
and a splash to the face
I looked in the mirror–
crusted blood under my nose
swollen cheeks
blood shot eyes

I knew that if I walked out
into the world at this moment
I’d be greeted with scorn
and sympathetic glares

indeed.

I see something else

I see,
looking in this mirror
on a beautiful morning,
triumph
vitality
glory

the mirror
has rewarded me,
on this fine morning,
the pleasure
of realizing that I am-
I am alive,
hurting and a horrid sight,
but alive
and I cherished this pain
of another forgotten night