Self-Loathing

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my mistakes are not
petty mistakes

no no no

my mistakes are monumental
and glorious mistakes
that completely
rip the heart
out of the people
i love most

i’m undeserving
and i take for granted
most things i have
in this brief life,
especially
her unconditional
love

and tho
i’m so far beneath
the kind of man she deserves
to be with
i just want her to know
that despite my
madness
and despite
the hell
i sometimes
bring to
our lives,
I love her,
I love her
fiercer
than the fire
that continues to
ravage
what’s left
of me.

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