I have this part-time job working First Aid at the Convention Center. This room that I’m in is the size of a big closet. It has four white walls and makes me want slit my wrist after about 3 hours of sitting in it. Well, anyways, as I’m sitting here contemplating how to put myself out of this horrific misery, in walks this thing. And it utterly scared the shit out of me.
Now you have to imagine this. You’re sitting by yourself in a closet for 6 hours. You haven’t seen a soul all day. Then you look up and see something that can’t possibly be human, but unfortunately is, in the doorway. You don’t know how to address this thing because you can’t decipher its sex. So you just stare in amazement, speechless while this big eyed, lipstick wearing, mullet rockin’, hermaphrodite thing just stares back at you. What do you do?
After about 5 ghastly seconds I finally spout out something like, “Hey there…what can I do for you?”
Now I have to explain to you what this thing looks like. I finally came to the unsteady conclusion that this was an actual male. Or close to anyways. He’s skinny as hell, has an earring in both ears–one turquoise and the other pink. He’s wearing a pink collared shirt tucked into some jeans. His face is skinny, old and his teeth are pointy and crooked. He has bright red lipstick on and some mascara to capture his beauty (Kidding). His finger nails were half polished to match his lips. I would say he was probably in his late 50’s to early 60’s. I tried desperately to grab my phone to take a picture, but couldn’t. Words just don’t do it justice. You’d have to see this to believe it. The closest person I could tell you he resembled would be a mixture of Steve Buscemi in drag and Iggy Pop. It was not a pretty site.
It’s a confusing world we live in.