glory, gone

i sniffed at the smell of glory today
it found me by surprise.
once I acknowledged it
it faded into the sky
forever away
from where i was.
i find that nothing has changed
i’m still sitting in my garage
at midnight, smoking cigars
and sipping whiskey
trying to figure out something
to write. the agony still lurks
just like desire
just like the owl
in the backyard oak
just like the chaos
i seem to adore
just like the moonlight
over the graveyard
just like tomorrow’s hangover
that’ll surely greet me
i accept it all

old man, rage

he’s 86 years old.
frail and weak in a hospital gown
depleted of long-term hope,
settles for the paradise of tomorrow.

tomorrow, oh tomorrow, what a beautiful idea.
tomorrow, now scarce, has never been more
beloved by the old man. never really thought about.

it’s when things become limited
that they’re truly appreciated.

tap tap tap

the doctor, young, oh so young, and vibrant
walks in his room, puts the charts up
on the wall and begins.

he tells the old man that he has a leaky heart valve.
it needs to be fixed.
or he only has months to live.
the doctor tells him,
make no mistake, this surgery is high risk
due to its invasiveness and your age,
but I think it’s a risk that is worth taking.

it is up to you.

the old man, tired, tired of hospital visits, doctors, bad news,
just so tired, sits back and looks out the window.
it is a pleasant fall day. he watches the commotion
of life out there,
and it was beautiful. he pictured himself,
sitting under an oak in the shade of a sunlit day,
as he often loved to do, sipping his coffee
and smoking his cigar.

just one more day.

Oh, just to see those crazy squirrels
run all around and to hear those annoying birds.

just one more time.

just to watch one more ballgame or to
hear the beautiful voice of george jones.
that’s all he wanted. he was man with
nothing left but memories. and he lived in them,
fully, and only occasionally did he come back.
circumstances like this forced him back,
and he loathed it.

his sad, bloodshot eyes had seen the death of siblings,
two wives and a daughter. they’ve seen war and all its agony.
they’ve seen love and love lost.

he was an eyewitness during the
most tragically beautiful century in history,
in all its glory
and in all its depravity.

oh, how he had guts in youth.
in the hills of West Virginia,
the women, the drinking, life, the future.
he lives in these memories.
he was happy once.

and now he’s reduced to a choice. a hard one too.
risk dying now for a little longer life,
or take no risk now,
and take death on.

what a choice.

he’s a man who hadn’t taken many
risks in life. he was content with
the average, the routine.

and now,
after the risks were weighed and pondered.
the ultimate choice was finally decided.

the old man, sitting upright in the
hospital bed, sipping his coffee,
peeking out the window of eternity
chose not to go gently into
that good night. he chose to rage,
rage against the dying of the light.

there’s still a little more
coffee in that mug,
a little more smoke
left on that cigar.

rage. rage.

1013015_10201204539696434_1403447410_n

the plague of obedience

The biggest tragedy of the 20th century
wasn’t the World Wars, or Hitlerism, Nazism,
Stalinism or Leninism. Those were just symptoms.
The biggest tragedy was obedience.
Totalitarian regimes can’t exist
if people refuse to seek political solutions
for their problems. Millions wouldn’t
have been slaughtered if soldiers
and police would’ve rejected orders
from their political masters. Obedience,
if you think about it,
is not a virtue at all.
It’s a plague
that has been the root of everything evil
in the last 100 years. What folks didn’t
understand back then, as we don’t today,
is that despotism and power can easily
be crushed if only people refuse
to offer their consent to be governed
by anyone except themselves.
Radical idea, right?

the quest

sun shot its laser rays through blinds
lying lifeless on bed
awakened and shaken,
hesitating to open bruised eyes
still addicted to the dark side
yearning for the light
and a clear head
caught between a rock and revolution
trying to persuade
a whole generation
that their evolution
is not complete
rather than waving
the flag of defeat
he chips away at the concrete
around the hearts of the sheep
with a soul and mind on fire
trying to eliminate desire
knowing he’ll never retire
in this quest.

Passion is Sexy

???????????????????????????????

 

Passion is sexy as hell. It’s those who’re passionate about something,
anything, everything; those are the ones for me. Lively, intriguing
and untamable. I love people who say profound things, who can have
a philosophical chat while drinking themselves silly; who immerse
themselves entirely in their dreams and refuse to have their soul
killed off by the mundane. This is where it’s at, man. Life is an
experience, not a set of rules or beliefs. Our lives are
the fruits of our own doings, so do the extraordinary.

Dreamlessly

bukowski-604x272

By Charles Bukowski:

old grey-haired waitresses
in cafes at night
have given it up,
and as i walk down sidewalks of
light and look into windows
of nursing homes
I can see that it is no longer
with them.
I see people sitting on park benches
and i can see by the way they
sit and look
that it is gone.

I see people driving cars
and I see by the way
they drive their cars
that they neither love nor are
loved -
nor do they consider
sex. it is all forgotten
like an old movie.

I see people in department stores and
supermarkets
walking down aisles
buying things
and i can see by the way their clothing
fits them and by the way they walk
and by their faces and their eyes
that they care for nothing
and that nothing cares
for them.

I see a hundred people a day
who have given up
entirely.

if I go to the racetrack
or a sporting event
I can see thousands
that feel for nothing or
no one
and get no feeling
back.

everywhere I see those who
crave nothing but
food, shelter, and
clothing; they concentrate
on that,
dreamlessly

I do not understand why these people do not
vanish
I do not understand why these people do not
expire
why the clouds
do not murder them
or why the dogs
do not murder them
or why the flowers and the children
do not murder them,
I do not understand.

I suppose they are murdered
yet i can’t adjust to the
fact of them
because they are so many.

each day,
each night,
there are more of them
in the subways and
in the buildings and
in the parks

they feel no terror
at not loving
or at not
being loved

so many many many
of my fellow

creatures

Do You Really Deserve Anything?

???????????????????????????????

Too many people in this damn world believe that just because of the mere fact they’re breathing warrants them a good life. In this pharmaceutical induced, self-help therapeutic age we live in, people think they deserve to be happy, that they deserve to be paid well, that they deserve to live a comfortable life. And they think they’re owed all these things without effort. They sit on the couch after a long day at a job they despise, get on Facebook or watch television and cannot figure out why life sucks. They believe they deserve more than this. They did everything they were supposed to do, and still they feel like something is missing. They believe that they deserve more. But they deserve exactly what they have.

Life’s hard, man—for all species. Life is a constant struggle. It takes sweat, blood and an initiative to change your lot in life. It takes guts. It takes effort. It takes a willing to pursue and explore the unknown. Instead of begging the State to up the minimum-wage laws, why don’t you enhance your skill level, learn more, put in the work that’ll boost your value. Rather than complain about how unhappy your relationship is, or how rough life is, decide right now that you’ll no longer live like this. Make the decision right now. If you hate the fact that you’re overweight, get off the damn computer, throw out the TV and get moving. Get under a squat bar and lift. Be accountable for what you put in your mouth. Live with purpose. Set goals, and go get em’. If you don’t have time, overhaul your priorities. Get up earlier, read more, find what you love and commit to it.

You and I don’t deserve any damn thing in this life except the outcomes from the sweat we put into it. Life isn’t about receiving; it’s about going after it. Nothing worth a damn was ever gotten at no cost. It’s the effort put in to achieving whatever it is you set your mind to that puts true value in it. If you’ve been unhappy for the last few years it’s because you enjoy the misery. If you’re broke all the time while squandering all your spare time fucking around, you deserve to be broke. I know people get dealt a shitty hand in this world. I do. The world is mad. But you’re not the only one. Life sucks for most people in the world. It’s dreadful. Dig down deep and find that place of bliss and use it to fertilize your ambition to overcome your circumstances. It’s tough, but it has been done throughout the ages. Do it.

Be the person like those you looked up to as a child. Stay away from the news and reality shows, they kill the mind. Stay clear of those negative people in your life, they’ll drag you into the pits of their misery. And remember something–moderation is bullshit, let your dreams consume you. All the way. What is stopping you?

Fear?

Are you avoiding the vital pain needed for renewal?

Pain is a lot like fear. If you focus too much on it, it devours you. If you try to avoid it, it shackles you to a life of the mundane. It kills any potential for growth and transformation–physically and mentally. Pain, like fear, is the ultimate deathtrap. It’s the mad ones who work through it, through the pain, through the fear, through the insecurity, who thrive and make a notable impact in this world. Be mad always.

Remember, you don’t deserve shit. Not a damn thing. Nobody does. It’s up to us to go get it. You want happiness; shed the things in your life that are making you unhappy. Never be content with an average life. It’s your decision. Find your passion, set fire to it and change your life. You will never truly be alive until you live fully now. Until you make your own decisions and follow a path that is strictly your own, you’ll always be discontent. Don’t worry about society, it’ll always respond negatively to your new quest. Separate yourself from the crowd and focus on what you want. Learn to be fearless. Be skeptical. If the crowd is doing it, break away.

Remember, you don’t deserve anything.

Go get it anyways.